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Hmmmm, what a curious feeling this love thing is.  I mean, I figured it was bound to happen eventually.  No vanity intended, but my karmic dues had long been paid in full for a while.  I think this whiny journal/blog has adequate evidence of that.  But man it’s a little odd being someone’s Someone…Someone I actually ENJOY being around?  What a revolutionary concept!  Maybe I should have tried that idea out years ago–date men I actually LIKE!?  It sure makes life a little less complicated.  The simplicity is refreshing.

It is, however,  a little distracting having someone pop into your thoughts every other hour.  If that’s the only thing I can possibly complain about, I would have to say I’m in a good place….with a good person, who just happens to make me feel like I’m 15.

This whole slightly crazy, yet oh-so-clearly sensible experience has brought my mind back to an old first love.  One winter, in his cold dining room he turned on this song and made me dance with him during a rough patch in my life.  That Freudian conquest left me a little jaded, but filled with the knowledge that, yep, a man did love me.  I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that I’ve been searching for someone to replicate the way he made me feel on occasion.  I guess I just had no idea that I would fall upon someone who surpassed him by leaps and bounds.

In other news:  I only gained 3 pounds over the holiday!  That’s a grand total of 40 pounds gone since August.  I’m just having a slightly difficult time staying focused on the whole life style thing a midst of this love stuff.  Smoking is still on the platter and I’m totally terrified of quitting.  But it’s time.  I guess it was about time for more than a few changes in my life.

Do You Believe in The Secret?

Maybe a year or two ago I caught Oprah rambling about The Secret. The episode included a round table discussion with other Secret “experts”, declaring the virtues of the Laws of Attraction and creating vision boards.

Earlier this year when I was in a longterm position and coming to terms with the fact that, yes, I really want to continue teaching, my colleague recommended the creation of my own vision board. I listened to her little story, but really didn’t buy it. Get a poster board, cut out pictures, and SHAZAM/POOF, I’ll have a Mazda 3, a great job teaching high school English in an urban school, have a literary agent peddling my latest novel, own a ukulele, have my student loans paid off, my masters finished, quit smoking, lose 30 pounds, and adopt another dog? Riiiiight. Don’t we normally call this kind of stuff delusions of grandeur?

When I was home over the weekend, I watched Chelsea Lately, which confirmed the fact that I want to BE her. Handler mentioned putting something on her vision board, which, of course made me laugh hysterically.

I googled vision boards today, thinking that maybe, just maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Maybe I’m being too cynical and not opening myself up to “The Secret.” Maybe vision statements, emotional growth calendars, and snazzy sparkled paper is just what I need. I fell upon this which made me laugh some more. Is this like a cult or something? I’m kidding, but seriously…do people really construct vision boards, thinking that the universe is going to magically manifest their wants? Again, I’m evidently too cynical.

Excuse me. I need to go to Office Depot and buy a foam poster board…right after I chair dance while watching this

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