(This is from a forum I belong to..instead of writing a response in that crazy place, I’ll stick to my “safe” little journal nook)
“Are there legitimate reasons for disappearing within days of a good first date?”
I had to think back to a time when I actually went on dates…a long, long, long time ago…a gilded age, a time when I may have actually not given as much of a shit. Here’s my conclusion:
I have NO problem ditching after date 1 (as long as I didn’t spend 6 months emailing with the person….which is why I keep trying to advocate the JUST F——G ASK ME OUT adage, instead of this friggin’ penpal BS).
Here’s the thing with ditching early on and why I really don’t (or haven’t since last September) feel too guilty doing it: No one needs an explanation that may include (and yes, there are ALL based on real experiences),
“No, really. You’re not funny.”
or
“The thought of kissing you makes me want to throw up in my mouth”
or
“You’re 3 inches shorter than your profile says you are…and frankly I can’t date short liars.”
or
“You never mentioned living with your mom and/or illegitimate 3 year old son in your profile.”
or
“Seriously, unless we muscle f— over this whole ebony/ivory/liberal/conservative stuff, I see no future in the situation.”
or
“You kind of ruined the entire evening when you suggested that I was leaving too much of a tip for the waitress who dealt with your weird food order, rude comments, etc. If you’re too cheap to tip a waitress a well-deserved tip, you’re not for me.”
or
“You’re really cool, but it kind of pissed me off that despite our numerous emails and several phone calls, you never once mentioned your lazy eye. It pissed me off a little more that I never noticed how all of your photos hide that EYE.”
Instead of making EVERYONE uncomfortable, you disappear. Easy.
Now, I need to insist that this doesn’t really work as well if the person has turned into an email buddy. In that case, I have no suggestions. I can only say that there are a few men in Buffalo who probably reeeeally don’t like me. (So I wrote about someone’s small penis in a blog that I never thought ANYONE would ever find!? Sue me! In my defense, when the guy emailed me a fiery note, proclaiming that he FOUND it, after nearly peeing my pants with nervous, hysterical laughs, I typed something like, “Yeah, but did you see the part where I said that you were the best kisser?”
I’m pretty sure there’s one thing a woman can NEVER discuss with a man and recover: his small penis. And for future reference, don’t write about it in an obscure blog. Just tell your friends, but make sure it’s not that one friend who spills everything after a few beers…
You Said It