He

Hmmmm, what a curious feeling this love thing is.  I mean, I figured it was bound to happen eventually.  No vanity intended, but my karmic dues had long been paid in full for a while.  I think this whiny journal/blog has adequate evidence of that.  But man it’s a little odd being someone’s Someone…Someone I actually ENJOY being around?  What a revolutionary concept!  Maybe I should have tried that idea out years ago–date men I actually LIKE!?  It sure makes life a little less complicated.  The simplicity is refreshing.

It is, however,  a little distracting having someone pop into your thoughts every other hour.  If that’s the only thing I can possibly complain about, I would have to say I’m in a good place….with a good person, who just happens to make me feel like I’m 15.

This whole slightly crazy, yet oh-so-clearly sensible experience has brought my mind back to an old first love.  One winter, in his cold dining room he turned on this song and made me dance with him during a rough patch in my life.  That Freudian conquest left me a little jaded, but filled with the knowledge that, yep, a man did love me.  I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that I’ve been searching for someone to replicate the way he made me feel on occasion.  I guess I just had no idea that I would fall upon someone who surpassed him by leaps and bounds.

In other news:  I only gained 3 pounds over the holiday!  That’s a grand total of 40 pounds gone since August.  I’m just having a slightly difficult time staying focused on the whole life style thing a midst of this love stuff.  Smoking is still on the platter and I’m totally terrified of quitting.  But it’s time.  I guess it was about time for more than a few changes in my life.

Umami

Through this whole change-of-lifestyle thing, I’ve determined that…I like food. I really like food. I really, really, really like food. Not junk food. Not processed food. Not fast food (though I’d really like to sink my teeth into a bacon double cheeseburger today for some odd reason). Not frozen food. But parmigiana pesto, roasted red peppers, Lebanese whipped garlic spread, Hummus, roasted acorn squash with brown sugar? THAT kind of food.

Food may even top music or literature on my list of life altering agents. Sometimes I don’t remember a damn thing about the location I visited, but can’t get the FOOD out of my head: Steamed mussels in garlic butter sauce from Monk’s in Philly, the fresh, but untoasted bagel from a deli in Queens, the texas hots from a fishfry stand in my hometown…

I think I need to add a few more requirement for potential boyfriend candidates:

1. Must be or appreciate Foodies.
2. Must not kick me out of bed for smelling like a chunk of garlic.

When Friends Break up

I was in between dreaming and waking up to my neighbor’s heavy footsteps over my head this morning when I found my brain counting out Six Word memoirs. I’m not kidding. I was thinking about one of my formerly close friends and how I miss her, but don’t regret the fight we had that “broke-up” our “relationship.” I found myself in this lucid state thinking, “I’m not sorry, [but] I miss you. Jeez, how can I get that down to six?”

This little brain weave got me to thinking: is it possible to just forget, instead of forgiving?

Part of me would like for her to reply to the email I just sent. The other part is pretty certain that if she’s still enmeshed in what I perceive(d) as a really, really destructive relationship, our friendship is done for now. Which I still find kind of sad. The fact is, I’ll never be able to understand how someone who could withstand horrific life tragedies (and I mean HORRIFIC) can’t seem to find the courage to drop a loser boyfriend with one ball.