I’m no poster child for responsibility. As stated in my previous blog, sometimes I make horrible choices. But like my best friend always reminds me, I try to at least own those choices, knowing that I can’t exactly control the world, but can certainly make an attempt at mastering how I react to that world.
Spring has sprung and despite years of miserable serial dating, despite finding luuuv four months ago, there’s still a great desire in me right now to be…free and alone again. There are a few reasons that are leading up to acknowledging these feelings:
1. I forgot how content I am when I’m alone,
2. I can’t help but wonder if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and most importantly,
3. Mr. Dreamy has been continuing a trend of annoying behaviors that cause me to wonder, “Is this IT? And if this is it, am I really willing to sacrifice my independence for THIS? Four months have come and gone. Despite a lot of hot air, he hasn’t truly made serious changes to improve his OWN life (gaining weight, eating healthy, taking proper care of his damn dog). Part of me can appreciate the fact that it’s likely way too soon for him to be in a relationship, since his shocker divorce. Maybe he just hasn’t learned how to take care of himself…Another part of me doesn’t really give a rat’s a– what his reasons are for lacking proactivity and being irresponsible. I’m already reaching my Excuse’s for Mr. Dreamy limit.
The bottom line for me is this: I’m done being disappointed. I’m done trying to fix other people. I know how difficult it is to truly change your own bad behaviors. It’s a constant struggle, a struggle that can be inspired or disrupted by others…if we let them.
You Said It